Can you introduce yourselves?
Noel: My name is Noel Halliday.
Charlotte: My name’s Charlotte Halliday.
Nice to meet you both. Can you tell us a little bit about yourselves? Something about yourselves?
Charlotte: Noel, I’ll do it of you don’t mind. Noel is a psychiatric nurse, has been from the age of eighteen and we’ve had five nursing homes. At the moment he’s in peppermill court. He’s been there for two years. He has vascular dementia. So he can remember the past but can’t always remember the future. Is that right darling?
Noel: That’s about right
-Laugh-
Can you tell us where you met?
Charlotte: We met in the Aisle of Mann dinghy sailing.
Wow ok when was that?
Charlotte: We’ve been married thirty eight years so that’s early seventies.
What kind of jobs did you do, what kind of careers did you have?
Charlotte: Well he was a psychiatric nurse so I always worked with him in the nursing homes.
Charlotte: I’ve been the odd job, you know washer upper, bather, all the rest of it and he’s been the nurse.
So caring sort of careers where you care for and look after people?
Charlotte: Yes yes he’s been the qualified nurse.
And what sort of inspired you to get into psychiatric nursing?
Charlotte: I think his mother didn’t want him to go into the navy. That was the truth. Yes he had a chance of going into the navy and the postman turned up with two letters one was for the navy, one was for the hospital. So his mother said you’re going into the hospital. So he was the first, youngest male nurse for midwifery.
Charlotte: They tried it out, he was about nineteen / twenty and women loved so it he knows what to do if a baby’s born erm he’s a general nurse but that’s been his main thing psychiatric.
Can you describe Noel?
Charlotte: Very caring, kind, loving husband really
Where did you grow up?
Charlotte: He grew up in Scotland, Dumfries.
Noel: Yeah
Charlotte: He’s 77
Noel: Ish
Charlotte: Aren’t you?
Noel: Near enough.
Charlotte: I’m seventy just turned seventy, he’s gonna be – because he was born at Christmas – he’s gonna be seventy eight, aren’t you?
Noel: Yes.
What’s your biggest achievement or greatest experience?
Charlotte: We represented our country twice in dinghy sailing.
Noel: That’s right.
Charlotte: I used to go out on a trapeze wire and I was one of the first ladies to do it.
Charlotte: He taught me how to do that yeah
Fantastic
Charlotte: So all our courting was in a boat.
Was that a real passion of both of yours then the dinghy sailing
Charlotte: Yes we lived we sold a nursing home in thrombydale he started it up you see these buses going round with people and children need help. He started that in the isle of Mann. Used to put on shows and things.
Have you been coming to harmony café for very long?
Charlotte: This is our first visit. We go singing for the brain on a Thursday we’ve been going for two years.
Charlotte: And one of the ladies said something and I said oh well I’ll bring us along see how we get on.
How have you found it what was the experience?
Charlotte: It was lovely. We came early because too many people get him a bit anxious so we came early didn’t we.
Noel: That’s right.
And also there are a lot of people here who are affected by dementia but might not have their partner anymore but still involved, still connected. I think that’s really important to people?
Charlotte: It’s a disease where if you say your partners got it they treat you as if he’s got leprosy, it’s still taboo compared to cancer and there’s so many different forms, that’s the awful thing.
So what would your key message be to people that are like that?
Charlotte: I think to actually come into communities like this and to meet people and see that they’re normal people.
How can York be more dementia friendly?
Charlotte: I think just by adverts making people aware mainly, definitely, you know we always advertised our nursing home on the bus and noel had a slogan the little home with the big heart was our slogan that he wrote. He wrote for bonanza he was a writer we lived in California for five years we lived on a yacht, home schooled our son and, and he wrote with his writing pal rex, the last script for bonanza.
Incredible so he had a really incredible life.
Charlotte: And we’ve lost all that.
Finally i wanted to ask you about the impact of dementia on your life?
Charlotte: It’s like being in a prison he’s in one and I’m in one and there’s nothing we can do.
Obviously you’re there for each other and it’s quite a difficult thing to face but how do you live well and get out and about and go to singing for the brain?
Charlotte: I go and collect him form the hospital and I take him out and I see him every day, maybe two days a week I have off but I bath him and shave him and get him dressed and things I’m still hands on you know erm but yeh it’s a very cruel disease because it’s just a downward disease it’s never going to level out you know dementia goes down in steps and Alzheimer’s goes down in a slope and everybody’s got different.
It’s different for everybody.
Charlotte: It’s a horrendous disease.
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